Matt Jordan Matt Jordan

Bedtime Stories

If you seek power, start by calling it justice. It's a much easier sell.

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Matt Jordan Matt Jordan

We’re Not Worthy

The truth is usually that which is unspoken.

Our nation’s pundits are spewing forth every manner of explanation for what is happening in America right now. But the truth is what they’re not saying. It is this: we Americans are too stupid, too ignorant, and too morally bankrupt to govern ourselves.

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Matt Jordan Matt Jordan

We’re a Deadbeat Nation

Do you know what our national debt is?

Do you know what our national debt is?

Probably not, since politicians in both parties were noticeably silent on the issue during the recent campaign season. And the mainstream media hardly mentions it either.

It’s $36 trillion.

For perspective, that’s 125% America’s entire annual economy, and one third the annual global economy.

When I was born, the debt was $1 trillion, and some found that alarming. When I was about ten, President Reagan left office, and the debt had risen to $4 trillion. When Bill Clinton left office in 2001, the federal government was running a surplus, and was on a path to paying off its debt in a decade or so. Then George W. Bush became president, and under the cover of his post-9/11 approval rating, he and the Republican-controlled Congress frittered away the surplus on tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy. Not content with that, he spent another trillion or two on his senseless war in Iraq. When he left office in 2009, the U.S. economy was in freefall, and the debt had ballooned to $10 trillion. Those were the good-old days.

I’ll skip the rest of the history, because it’s quite accessible to the public.

Since World War Two, the U.S. has been the most prosperous nation in history. For a time, that prosperity was built on solid ground: our good fortune at surviving the war relatively unscathed; our formidable resources and industry; and perhaps most importantly, our esteem for science and the sharing of information. Notably, our government also functioned reasonably well.

But since the turn of the century, that prosperity has become a mirage. We are living entirely on borrowed money. And while the national debt used to be a political cudgel both parties used to throttle each other, politicians today scarcely mention it. Why should they, when they can just keep their mouths shut and get reelected?

Harder times are coming, sacrifices must be made, but the American people don’t want to hear it: they still gleefully line up every year to buy the latest iPhone - because why save money when you can have one more megapixel?

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Matt Jordan Matt Jordan

Thoughts on Comedy

You can learn a lot about comedy by treating it as music.

Sometimes when I’m at a comedy show, I close my eyes and just listen - not to words, but pure sounds. Some scholars believe that music actually predates language. If that were true (of course, there’s no way to know), then all language could be considered a sort of music. You can tell a lot about a comic that way. With great comics, you hear rhythm, climaxes, crescendos, silences: everything you would hear in a great symphony. With lesser comics, you hear noise.

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